A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, you gotta help me!"

The doctor asks, "What's your problem?"

The guy says, "Every morning I wake up with my 'morning
flagpole'...  I give the missus a quick one, and then go to work.
On the way to work, I carpool with the next door neighbor's
wife who gives me a blow job during the ride to work.

Once I get there, I do some work and then at morning tea
time, I go into the photocopy room and crank one out with
one of the young office girls.

At lunch, I take my secretary out to a hotel and give her a
good boinking.  For afternoon tea, I give the boss's wife a
good servicing.  Then, I go home and slip the maid a few
inches.  Then at night, I give the missus another screw....."

"So...????" asked the doctor.  "What's your problem?!?"

The guy says, "Well, it hurts when I masturbate!"